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Submitted on
December 9, 2013


3 (who?)
Crisis Gets Crocked

Crisis and Katrika slithered through the jungle at a pretty normal pace. Gray was standing on Crisis' shoulder supporting himself with a lock of her long blonde hair. He was keeping his eyes peeled for any sign of their target. They were both on the hunt for something for the smaller ones of the family to eat. It was the day before Kris' Maas and the sun was getting ready to set. Unfortunately they were yet to find anything for the family to eat the next day.

"I understand why Temi sent you out to hunt but why in the world did she send me with you?" Gray asked. "I don't even celebrate this holiday".

"Well she says that you know more what humans like to eat and Lea's not feeling to well so you're here to keep me company" Crisis replied with a smile. "Besides you guys need to stock up. It's gonna be cold out for a while and you, Lea, and Aya need to stock up on food".

Gray simply shrugged. "I see what you mean but no offenses, I'd just much rather be home with Iris right now".

He looked over at Katrika. She looked up at him and gave him a big smile. Gray grinned at her and looked back to Crisis.

"Okay, let me just ask, why did she come along?" He said pointing to Katrika.

Crisis looked at Gray confused. "What? You don't like Kat?" she asks suprised.

"It's not that I don't like her" Gray said. :I just don't really know her. I don't exactly talk to her that much".

Crisis looked at Gray irritatedly. She plucked him up by his shirt collar and moved him over and place him on Kat's shoulder.

"Well now you can talk for a while" Crisis said with a cheeky smile.

Gray looked up at Katrika who looked back down at him curiously. She smiled "so how are you Gray?" she asked happily.

"Meh, not too bad" he replied.

The three continued on through the jungle for several more hours with no luck. They were about to give up and turn back when a ear ringing boom echoed throughout the sky. Everyone looked up into the sky to see a ball of smoke barreling out of the sky right towards them.

"Duck!" Gray shouted out loud.

Crisis and Katrika hit the ground just as the object flew over there heads and craned into the ground directly in front of them.

Crisis and Kat stood up. Katrika looked around. "Where's Gray?" She asked

She heard Gray's muffle cries for help and looked down to see him stuck in her cleavage. She reached down and plucked Gray out of her chest and held him up to her face. He was gasping for breath.

"Sorry about that" she said giggling.

"No problem"  Gray said panting.

Crisis slithered up to them rubbing the back of her head. "Aw man hat was that?" she asked in pain.

The three looked over at the unknown object that had nearly taken their heads off. It looked like a crashed plane. It was still on smoking heavily and looked like it would burst into flames at any minute.

"Come on guys we've gotta go" Gray said wearily. "That thing could explode at any minute!"

Crisis didn't listen however and took off slithering toward the wreckage. "Crisis did you not hear a word I just said?" Gray shouted.

"Hold on for a moment Gray!" She shouted. "There might be food for you guys in that thing!"

She slithered off into the smoke and Gray waited impatiently for her return. He jumped when he heard her scream.

"Crisis!" Gray shouted as he tried to leap from Katrika's hands. She held on to him tight however and he went nowhere.

Crisis emerged from the smoke carrying two large steel tanks. "Come on let'g go!" She shouted.

She and Katrika took off slithering away as fast as they could. They were a good five miles away from the wreckage before they stopped to breath.

"Well, it looks like it didn't explode" Katrika said.

Just as she finished saying that the boom echoed throughout the jungle the large fir ball could be seen perfectly clear from where Crisis, Katrika, and Gray stood. Katrika looked back at the and two smiled smiled shrugging her shoulders.

Gray looked down at the two tanks under Crisis' arms.

"Um… Crisis, what are those?" Gray asked pointing at the tanks.

"Oh, well I don't know" she said. "But it looks like there's something on the side here". Crisis looked at one of the tanks. "It's says… iverclir?

Gray sighed. "It's says everclear" he said.

"Ooh, that sounds tasty!" Crisis exclaimed. She ripped the top off one of the tanks and looked outside. She moved her nose over the tank and took a quick whiff. She scrunched up her nose in disgust.

"Ew! It smells awful!" she said painfully.

"Good!" Gray exclaimed. "Don't drink it! Besides were;t those for us to drink later"

"Aw come on Gray, just because it smells bad doesn't mean it tastes bad" Crisis said cheerfully. "You wouldn't believe how many humans reek but still taste good. And don't worry there's another one". Crisis tipped the tank up and took several chugs out of it.

Gray's jaw dropped as Crisis continued to chug the tank. Katrika put Gray on the ground and then grabbed the tank from Crisis.

"Come on Crisis I want some!" she shouted.

She did tipped the brought the tank up to her lips and took a small sip. She pondered the fast fro a moment and than her face lit up. She raised up the tank and took several large chugs out of the tank until it was empty.

She dropped the tank and both of the nagas stared off into space for a moment.

"Uh guys…are you ok?" Gray asked.

Crisis let out a small hiccup and then looked down at Gray. She reached for him and picked him up.

"Um… Crisis" Gray said.

Crisis smiled. "Hey Katrika, this human looks like Gray" she giggled. "Oh well down you go".

Crisis brought Gray up to her mouth and slowly lowered him onto her tongue.

"Crisis stop!" Gray shouted.

Crisis pulled Gray out of her mouth and looked him over. "Oh hey Gray, when did you get her?"

"Um.. Crisis are feeling alright" Gray said wiping the saliva off of his face.

"Oh… uh… I don't know. But for some reason I feel really, really good" she said playfully. "What about you Kat. How do you feel?"

Gray looked over and saw Katrika lying on the ground. She was hunched over with her rumps sticking up in the air and her face flat on the ground snoring softly.

"Oh my gods their drunk" Gray said to himself. He took a deep breath. "Crisis, could you please put me down.

"Crisis looked down at him. "Huh? Oh sure". Crisis placed her hand about fifteen feet above the ground and opened it up letting him drop the last several feet.

After Gray had stood up, dusted off his clothes and finished cursing Crisis out he walked over to Katrika. He looked her over and knew pretty quickly that she was out cold. He walked up to her face and grabbed hold of one of her eye lids and pulled it open. Her eye was very hazy and droopy and her pupil was dilated. Gray walked around to the side of her head, put his face right up close to her ear, and yelled.

Katrika bolted up and screamed. She snatched Gray off the ground and brought him up to her face.
She started shaking him violently

"What do you want punk! Huh!? You out to get me!? You're gonna eat me aren't you!? And then you're gonna eat Crisis, and Tanya, and Lea, And Anna! Oh no please don't eat Anna! I never got to kiss her! At least let me do that before you eat her!

"Katrika!" Gray shouted.

She stopped shaking him and stared at him. "What?" She asked.

"I'm not going to eat anyone alright" Gray said calmly. "Just put me down and I'll get you guys home so you can both got to sleep and feel better okay".

Katrika pondered for a moment before finally setting Gray on the ground.

He straightened himself out. "Alright, come on guys lets get going home".

"No!" Crisis shouted. "I don't wanna go home" she pouted.

"Me neither" said Katrika. "I wanna stay here and play a game".

"Okay then" Gray said irritated. "Let's play follow the leader".

"Ooh that sound fun" Crisis said excitedly. "Do I get to be the leader!?"

"No" Gray said.

"Aw ok" Crisis said sadly.


"Temi! Get in here!" Gray shouted at the top of his lungs.

Temi fluttered down in front of the trees main entrance where Gray was standing with Crisis and Katrika

"Now Gray there's no need to shout like tha- good gods what happened!?"

Gray was covered from head to toe in dirt, cuts, bruises, and saliva

"Oh my goodness dear what happened to you? And what wrong with them? Why are they so dazed and giggly?"

"Well Temi" Gray said. "We happened to come across a crashed plane that was full of alcohol. And for some reason Crisis decided it would be a good idea for her and Katrika to drink half of it".

Temi looked up at the two in horror before looking back down to Gray. "And how did you get in such bad shape?"

"Well after Katrika spit me out and Crisis stopped trying to bury me I finally got them home. Oh yah, Crisis has some humans in her pouch that I think she's going to…" Gray looked ups and saw Crisis popping the humans into her mouth and gulping them all down quickly.

She came to one human that was pretty young and good looking. He had a beanie and a sweater on with black clothes. He looked absolutely terrified.

"Aww, this ones kind of cute" Crisis said adoringly. "I don't think I'll eat him… he's going to be my new pet!"

"What!?" The human shouted.

"Yah! He's my new pet" Crisis said excitedly. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him against her chest. "Oh I love my new pet! I'm going to pet him and squeeze him and name him Steve!"

Gray heard a disgust wet pop sound and look up at Crisis who moved her arms to reveal a dark red stain on her chest.

"Aw, he ran away". Her lips started to quiver but it stopped pretty quickly. "Oh well, I've still got a bunch of other humans".

She went back to popping humans in her mouth.

Gray looked over to Temi. "Look Temi I've really gotta get some rest. Could you please take care of them for the rest of the night?"

Temi nodded and Gray walked off to bed. He looked back at Crisis to yell goodnight and saw her jaw moving up and down. He heard a horrible crunching sound like someone munching on peanut brittle.

Gray stared at her. She looked back and smiled big at him revealing her pearly white teeth adorned in red splotches.

"Okay!" Gray shouted. "Goodnight Temi. Have fun".

Gray walked up to he and Iris's room. He entered the room to see Iris sound asleep in bed. He got into his pajamas, crawled in next to her and fell asleep (not before Iris made him cuddle however).

He was absolutely exhausted. He hadn't been this tired since his first day of training and easily fell asleep.


Gray awoke the next morning and made his way down to the tree's main dorm. Subeta, Temi, and Aya were exchanging gifts and the annual snow had fallen over the tree.

"Oh good morning Gray. Sleep well?" Temi asked.

"Oh yeah, very well" he replied

Subeta quickly shrunk down and wrapped her arms around him. Merry Kris' Maas!" She exclaimed.

"Merry Kris' Maas' Subby"Gray said hugging her back. "So Temi how'd everything go last night?"

Temi talked to Gray as she was unwrapping a gift. "Well, let's just say I won't be going anywhere for a while because my wing is bent".

"Oh… I'm really sorry" he said.

"Oh no don't be. Besides I'll have my revenge on those two soon" she said pointing to Crisis and Katrika dead asleep on the ground.

"When they wake up they're going to have a hangover straight from hell" she said with an evil laugh".

Gray smiled and gave Temi a big hug.

He backed up and looked over his friends. "Merry Kris' Maas guys. I love you all".

The End
Don't take this story too seriously :)
I don't exactly know what Crocked means. I jsut looked up synonyms for drunk and it's one of the first things I got.
Just a little Christmas story to get myself pumped for the holidays.

Crisis, Temi, Subeta, Aya, and the world of Felarya all belong to :iconkarbo:
Katrika belongs to :iconwhiskeyfox:
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This had me laughing so hard
That was wonderful!  I loved it.  Seeing them drunk was so funny.
Karbo Dec 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Heh seeing them drunk was both cute, funny and terrifying at the same time :D
MarlinMedia Dec 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks ^^
Daiyoukai-sama Dec 12, 2013  Professional Artist
How can he be so awful easy-going... I would throw sewage after them^^
lordmep Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty good comedic story.

Ah Everclear. Now that brings back memories....of waking up on to on top of Grand Bayou spillway or in my friends mother's flower bed or taped up in a box or on top of a picnic table with a girlfriend seven miles from home with no idea how you got there or in the middle of a watermelon patch with a girl I had never seen before and so on. I had to quit the stuff before I ended up on the moon.


Great one shot. Keep up the good work.

haha, this was quite a nice comedic story. a nice break from the whole serious drama story you've made. Made me chuckle quite a bit. Still, I wonder what woulda happened if it was moonshine or Absinthe instead...
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